Kay:

Hey Questers and welcome to a very special episode, because this is episode 250!

Shi:

A quarter of 1,000.

Kay:

BOOM! You guys, thank you so much.

Shi:

250 episodes.

Kay:

I know. If you are a long time listener and you have made it all the way through 250 episodes of us, like good on you.

Shi:

We love you. We appreciate you, and thank you for being here with us today. We want to share with you a quote from Alice Walker, who wrote “The Color Purple” – a really inspirational author. She says, “Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get, you’ve got to make yourself.”

Kay:

I love this quote on so many different levels and one of the things that being here at episode 250 and reflecting back, a lot of podcasters when they start out on their journey can’t even imagine or fathom the 250th episode. It’s like something that they can’t even think about because it seems so far off in the future. I know for us; we’ve been in that zone before as well. But on the in-between, on the sludging through episode 12 episode, episode 120, episode 200, episode 210, and the getting all of that done, we had to choose to be happy along the way whether it was just you, mom, and Andrea. Thank you guys so much for listening to all 250 episodes…

Shi:

We love you.

Kay:

…or if it’s now the hundreds of people who tune in to the Mentorship Quest every day.

Shi:

Yeah. And if you listened to yesterday’s podcast episode, you heard us talk about this happiness piece and finding that on the inside, through purpose and fulfillment, and maybe aligning a little bit more with what are the emotions that you like to feel on a consistent basis rather than seeking some external validation and approval for your happiness. We want to tell you to enjoy your low hanging fruit validation. When you’ve got a big accomplishment, we want you to celebrate it and we want you to get the public accolades. When it’s your birthday, soak it in…

Kay:

Right. Take that.

Shi:

..rake it in, let other people’s happiness for you and validation fill you up and amplify your own happiness, but really working on letting your happiness be in an independent flame that lives inside of you, will make you feel so much more fulfilled.

Kay:

Well, you don’t want to have your happiness be conditional upon the happiness of other people. Because as soon as you do that, you take your happiness, and you give it to somebody else. If the only way that Kay Salerno can be happy is if Shila Morris is happy then it wouldn’t work and vice versa. It wouldn’t work. If I had a bad day, does that mean that you’re having a bad day too? We wouldn’t have one another to pull each other out and then I give away all my power to somebody else for my level of emotion or my experience of life.

Shi:

It’s really easy to understand this conceptually. When we think about it, we’re like, “Obviously you guys,” we’re also logical. Then BOOM – an hour from now you’re with a significant other, you’re with a business partner, you’re in some kind of conflict or disagreement or situation, and all of a sudden your internal state is now very dependent on those around you. So, this quote is really just one of those kinds of gentle reminders that you are the captain of your ship. You can only be responsible for what is happening on the inside of your skin, which is actually quite a bit, and steers you in a direction and puts you in different scenarios and places where you can hopefully find a little bit more of that happiness inside of you and then share it with those around you.

Kay:

Especially in this quote. Yeah. I thought it was really interesting that she says, “Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you.” Oftentimes when we get a big accomplishment or something happens in our lives and just say you’re like, you get a new job. You go home and you’re like, “Honey, honey, honey, I got a new job. Can you believe it? I got a new job and I’m just so excited and it’s this new job.” Their first reaction is, well, what are we going to do with the childcare? What’s going to happen with the kids? Now that happiness just got stolen from you because your happiness over that position was contingent upon them being happy for you.

Shi:

That’s a great example of just how easily we are influenced by others. Look, we’re social creatures. We live in communities and families and we have to deal with other humans and depend on them and negotiate and navigate life with them. So, it’s not about getting rid of them, but it is about having that awareness about how your reactions and responses to others (and in anticipation of others) can sometimes divert your attention away from perhaps what it is that you defined in the first place as “making you happy”, which is one of the pieces of advice we want to give you. Know specifically those things that make you happy. Knowing this and having clarity helps you shift that focus ward, and help you stay a little more grounded in those moments.

Kay:

Now, just as a reminder, this incredible quote from Alice Walker today is, “Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get, you’ve got to make for yourself.”

Shi:

Alright. It’s your Fri-yay quest.

Kay:

Whoop! Whoop! Fri-yay!

Shi:

Buying Your Happiness Quest today! Love these fun quests as we go into the weekend. How can you make your own happiness this weekend? Find at least one way, come on, you deserve it! And not from another person. If you’re feeling stuck, give gratitude a try. It’s always our favorite fallback. Alright. Have a great weekend you guys! Are you ready?

Kay and Shi:

Let’s quest!