Kay:

Hello there, Questers, and welcome back. It’s Monday, November 29th, and this is episode 476. We have a quote for you today from Sylvia Plath, an American poet, novelist and short story writer. She tells us, “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”

Shi:

An interesting turn of phrase here to start off our week and kick off our Monday morning, but what I think Sylvia is really getting at here is when we see things that other people have, or circumstances other people are in, or vacations other people took, or experiences others are having, we start pointing to that and saying, “Ooh, yeah, I’d like that.” It’s not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, but it might indicate that you don’t have a clear purpose and direction of your own. And that’s where the second half of this quote becomes relevant “We’re dangerously close to wanting nothing.” If you know you’re focused on achieving a certain goal – “I’m going to run that marathon in June”- and you’re working your way towards that, there’s other things that might come up that you want, but you’ve got this singular purpose, this driving force which is you’re going to run that marathon in June. And that means you know what you want and you’ve got clarity around that, which gives you purpose and allows you to be motivated and take action. We think that’s really what Sylvia Plath is hinting at here in this quote.

Kay:

You know what? The visual that’s coming forward to me here is the shiny object syndrome and the idea of squirrel level ADD attention. And you know, you think about this in regards to money, right? If I have a thousand dollars come into my life and I don’t have something maybe larger or something that I’m saving or a goal that I have, and I go to a store like Bed, Bath and Beyond, and then maybe I head to Next, and then maybe I go to TJ Maxx, and then maybe I find myself at Walmart and then maybe I head on down to Best Buy after that. How long do you think that thousand dollars is really going to last? Right? Because you want everything. Everything is out there that you’re looking for. And so really, what do you want? Is it the first thing that catches your eye or the nut on the ground or the shiny object that you can’t keep yourself away from? Or do you have something, a definiteness of purpose, which can lead you to success?

Shi:

It’s kind of like that old adage that says, “You can have it all, just not all at once.” I think what we’re also driving at here is that, you know, when you want everything, you can get distracted, as Kay mentioned, that shiny object syndrome, or you can just find yourself filling with meaningless things, just kind of like saying, “Will this new sweater make me feel better? Do I want that new pair of leggings? Does that houseplant really go? Oh, that couch is something I’ve got to have!” It’s that spur of the moment wanting that can, maybe, not keep us on a path where we’re headed towards something that will build that fulfillment piece inside. That instant happiness versus long lasting joy comes into play here as we think about what is it that’s going to give me that long lasting joy. If I know what it is, or an experience I want to be or have, or a person I want to become, then I can work towards that and I can know what it is and I can single out other things so I can have it all, just not all at once. And when we want it all at once, that might be a good warning sign to ourselves internally that it’s time to take a look at actually defining with more clarity what it is we truly want.

Kay:

You know, this is such an important principle that is actually principle #1 in Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich: definiteness of purpose. And what Napoleon Hill says is that definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement, right? So if you want to achieve anything in this world, you have to know what it is that you want with extreme definition. You can say, “Well, I have so many things that I want in this world, and I want all those things.” Well, that’s great, but can you name them? Do you know them? Do you know them in order? Do you know the priority? Do you know the top five? Do you know the top two? What are you focusing on right now? That level of defining where it is you want to go helps you to set the plane on course before it even takes off.

Shi:

So to remind you of what Sylvia Plath told us, “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”

Kay:

An interesting quote here on a Monday-get-it-done-day, so we’ve got a good one for you. We want you to write down those five things that you want. You’ve heard us say it. If you’re not definite in the purpose of the things that you want, you won’t be working toward them. So, top five things. And we’re not just talking material, although maybe that’s where you are, but what are the top five things that would make a bit difference to your life If you were to have definiteness of purpose and achieving, and then bid? Are you ready?

Shi:

Let’s quest.