Kay:

Hello there, Questers of Mentorship. Fellow journeyers, we are so glad to be with you today here on Monday, June 28th. This is episode 386 and we’re so glad to be here with an Ethel Barrymore quote today and she says, “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”

Shi:

Well, the Barrymore family is known for having lovable plucky laughable characters so it’s no wonder that we get this quote from Miss Ethel, an American actress and member of the Barrymore family. Of course, she is a stage screen and radio actress whose career spans six decades and was regarded as the first lady of the American theater.

Kay:

Oh, well someone who is so involved in the performance arts can tell us plenty about how I’m sure to both laugh and cry whenever you need to. But in this case, Ethel’s advice today, I think really rings true especially in seeing that it can be difficult sometimes to have a real laugh at yourself. Like not the “ha-ha-ha I’m shaking it off because I’m trying to make myself feel okay about what just happened” but to be at that place where you really are observational and separate enough from your actions that you are able to find maybe humor in your humility.

Shi:

That’s exactly what I was gleaming onto here as we read this quote..that real laugh at yourself, not just laugh at yourself because we’ve all been there. When, you know logically something that you’ve done is funny, even though it was a mistake or a misstep or something that you might be embarrassed about and so we’ll join in on the laughter. On the inside, maybe we’re hurting. Maybe we’re embarrassed, maybe we’re kicking ourselves. So that qualifier here of real laugh, I think helps illuminate the fact that when you can find that true funniness when you can have the levity and the lightheartedness about your own actions in self, that is the day that she says, Ethel says you truly grow up.

Kay:

I think that levity and lightheartedness come when we are able to put degrees of separation between our thinking mind and who it is that we actually are. When you take a seat of observation in your life, you’re able to start to see events and actions a little bit less judgmentally and then course correct without so much emotion. Over time, life becomes less painful and that’s really the road to happiness, which is a sad way of putting it, but it’s the way to real lasting joy. But I like this idea that if you can separate yourself enough from that, that you’re able to be more of the observer, that humor is a little bit easier to find inside humiliation.

Shi:

And I think that’s the reflection of that adulthood that she’s referring to here, that being a grownup, there are plenty of people who are adults by age but not by anything else. So being able to differentiate well, what really makes a standup adult, you know, that kind of citizen of the world type that is admired and that contributes in a positive way. Those kinds of people are able to see their own mistakes, see their missteps, see their times when maybe they said something wrong or they got something totally off and they’re able to truly laugh from the belly, from the heart about just the funniness of being human, because it is pretty funny. Just being a human going along on your human life and your human path. There’s just some weird stuff that happens. Yesterday, it’s like 5:15 in the morning, and my husband’s getting ready to go to work and he knocks over the plant into the bathtub and he’s so mad about it but I’m cracking up and there’s dirt everywhere. Life is life. There are so many plants in the bathtub at the moment. That’s just physics humanizing alongside you. And when we can find those moments of levity and brevity and lightheartedness, I really do think we’re able to grasp a little bit more intelligently what it is that we’re here to do as humans.

Kay:

Well, there is a sense of maturity that comes along with that levity and brevity when it comes to things like the old adage of spilling the milk. Are you going to cry about it? But then at this point, it was spilling the houseplant in the bathtub. But whether you’re spilling milk, tripping on yourself, or spilling a plant in the bathtub as Ethel Barrymore reminds us, “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.

Shi:

Alright, it’s quest time, and don’t worry we’re not going to tell you to knock the plant into the bathroom today, but we are going to tell you to laugh at yourself. We want you to take a moment to think back to a negative experience you may still hold in your memory from the past where you messed up. While thinking about the event, we want you to open your mouth and let out a big old belly laugh whether it’s a real laugh or not. It doesn’t matter to your brain! You will get the positive effects either way. Then pat yourself on the back and say, “Congrats!,” you just helped your brain reframe the experience cognitively through physical laughter. Are you ready? Say it along with us now..

Kay & Shi:

Let’s quest!