Kay:
Hey, there Questers, it’s #FeministFriday rounding out our celebration of women here in the week of International Women’s Day. It’s March 12th and this is episode 310. We have such a great Viola Davis quote for you today.
Shi:
She tells us, “Do not live someone else’s life and someone else’s idea of what womanhood is. Womanhood is you.”
Kay:
What a cool quote, especially from someone who has broken so many norms. She was one of the first African-American people to achieve the triple crown. So, the Tony, the Emmy, and the Academy award. Time Magazine named her one of the 100 most influential people in the world in both 2012 and 2017, Viola Davis is truly a queen.
Shi:
Truly a queen, and truly a woman who knew her worth and knew that she wanted to have an impact and do things her way. Imagine the barriers and the uphill challenges that she faced in her time to achieve such greatness and such accolades. This advice really it’s an easy one whether we’re talking about womanhood or not, because simply someone else’s idea of you is a trap many of us fall into. We’ve got pressures from our family about what success means or what it is to be right in your life. We’ve got ideas of what that means from the dominant narrative in society that we live in or within our communities. We get ideas from media and from shows and so there’s a lot competing for what that definition of womanhood or success or livelihood means for us. That means that if we don’t guard it, if we aren’t careful, we’ll let ourselves default to one of those definitions which leads us down a path that doesn’t end with our ultimate happiness.
Kay:
What I am proud to see is that, I think, we are seeing much more flexibility in those definitions…
Shi:
Yeah.
Kay:
Be it about womanhood or manhood or about success. The narrative is beginning to change, albeit slowly, but it is changing. Really, this idea of identifying you for you. If you’re a man who likes to watch sappy movies and they occasionally make you tear up, there is nothing wrong with you. If you’re a woman who also wants to be a powerful, BA business lady and sit in your pink-clad clothing across from a lawyer during a negotiation, (I have definitely done this before), you go, girl!
Shi:
Come one, you’ve seen Legally Blonde, the ultimate showing of empowering and embracing femininity and the traditional definitions of what is feminine, at least stylistically speaking, but maybe at challenging those norms when it comes to professionally speaking. I often recall our mom, I’m pretty sure our nana will never listen to this. If she does – I’m sorry, Nana. But our mom shared with us that her mom would tell her, “Honey, you’re not a woman until you’ve had a baby.” You just won’t understand what being a woman is until you’ve had a child, until you’ve gone through childbirth, until you’ve had this baby. What does thinking that mean for those who choose not to have children or who cannot have children, or if you’re like me had C-sections to have your kids? Am I less of a woman because I didn’t go through childbirth in the traditional sense, or as someone who chooses not to have children, less of a woman? Here Viola is reminding us that womanhood is you if you are a woman, or manhood if you are a man. Your hood is you because that’s you and you’re a perfect expression of it as it is as one of the beautiful creations of this universe.
Kay:
Your expression and your expansion are unique to you and the idea of femininity sitting in a box and the idea of masculinity sitting in a box is really just a construct. It has nothing to do with who you actually are.
Shi:
Is that where we have to tell them, think outside the box?
Kay:
Well, okay, yes but think outside the box you guys, or just find ways to embrace that piece of you that’s really you, I’m the kind of girl who really likes femininity in my fashion and Shila likes to go a little more on the skater side of things.
Shi:
Sporty.
Kay:
…more sporty. None of that is wrong and none of that defines womanhood for Shila or for me, because we are expanding and expressing in our perfect way as the women that we are. So, be it a woman or man Viola Davis is here to remind you to, “Not live someone else’s life and someone else’s idea of what womanhood is. Womanhood (or manhood) is you.”
Shi:
Alright, it’s your #FriYAY Quest…
Kay:
Whoop, whoop!
Shi:
…and today we want you to define your hood, woman, or man on your own terms by embracing what makes you unique and live life your way this weekend in your own hood, whatever that means for you. Are you ready?
Kay & Shi:
Let’s quest!
