Kay:

Hey, there Questers, it’s Wednesday, August 11th and this is episode 418. We have a very, very well-known quote for you today submitted by someone that we love and know very well. Miss Candice Candice submitted this quote from one of her favorites, Eleanor Roosevelt and chances are you’ve heard it. Eleanor tells us that, “Well behaved women rarely make history.”

Shi:

Ooh, a little bit of sassy for us on this Woman Crush Wednesday. Love that we’re talking about bringing this feminine energy more into the spotlight and being able to just raise up women. We were talking on a recent podcast; you may have heard about how interesting and how truly relative the new freedom is for women in our society and how this is just taking some new balance. So, it’s okay to celebrate these steps and to know that in Eleanor’s time, this was kind of racy to say.

Kay:

Yeah. Well, women were expected to fit inside a very specific box labeled female and do only the activities subscribed to them. Yes, in that box, to behave, to be seen and not heard, to be respectful when they did speak, to never share opinion. So, women had definitely a different look, a different feel, a different way of moving through society back in this day. While it may seem like this quote isn’t relevant today, I would love to just bring up a woman who would not act well behaved in a traditional way and who helped to literally steer the tide of our last general election. Stacy Abrams who stood up and did more campaigning than anybody’s ever seen in their life and was one of the deciding factors in the race for the 2020 election.

Shi:

It brings up the question of who’s defining well-behaved, and I think that was really the challenge behind the statement that Eleanor delivers here, is that we have to question what those norms are or what well-behaved means or what you think. That whatever that box is for you or that has been put around you may be that you believe based on your circumstances and your upbringing and what is the history that you want to make? Is it congruent with that behavior or that expectation? And if it isn’t, it might be time to get a little naughty.

Kay:

Get naughty, find ways to break down the things that aren’t serving you. Misbehave in your own life if there are things that are holding you back. For me, I used to have a really hard time giving any kind of feedback whatsoever. Now, recently Shila and I were in a situation where we were shopping and there was a gentleman who was dressing Shila, and he was very passionate about the clothes that he was putting on her. Now, the two years, three years, four years ago me would have thought that saying my true opinion about an outfit, like, “Shila, that pattern doesn’t look very good on you,” would have hurt that other person’s feelings, would have hurt the shopper’s feelings. I might not have expressed that opinion out of fear of misbehaving in that situation. Whereas I’ve now come more into my confidence. I’ve misbehaved a few times and learned how to say, “you know, what, that pattern just doesn’t look great on you”.

Shi:

If we look back on history, it’s full of women misbehaving in that way, whether it’s shopping with your sister or like Joan of Arc style going against the grade to have impactful influence and ultimately become a Saint. Misbehaving is a core part of how we progress as a society. In fact, I would say, even for men, there is a fair amount of it because if we just replace well-behaved with that expectation of normal or maybe the mainstream is defining as something. Well, things change, and they progress, and history is, albeit a zigzag roundabout full, one-way street towards progress. We do step back but it’s still with two steps forward and so ultimately, we know that misbehavior turns into the new norms that one day a new generation will break.

Kay:

Well, I am proud that women have misbehaved throughout the generations in order to give us the foundation that we have to this day and like Eleanor Roosevelt tells us, “Well behaved women rarely make history.”

Shi:

Alright, that brings us to our quest today. It’s time to misbehave but just a little bit. Act in a way that serves to break down your negative habits. You can do it and you’ll feel better when you do. Are you ready? Misbehave with us now?

Kay & Shi:

Let’s quest!