Kay:

Hey, hey there, Questers, and welcome back. This is episode 491. And today is Monday, December 20th. You got six geese-a-laying on our 12 days to Christmas. And boy, I know we’re so excited for the upcoming holiday.

Shi:

The last Monday before Christmas. Is that a thing? It is. It is this week and we’re excited to be getting into episode 491, and your quote for today comes from Emma Watson who tells us, “What gets scary is when your self-worth is tied up in what strangers think of you.”

Kay:

Now, this time of year, you are likely encountering quite a bit of strange activity with strangers while you are out and about, the increased level of events and things to do like Christmas tree lightings, local festivals, holiday shopping, and more can put you in front of strangers. Maybe more than you have been in the last couple of years. And you might be feeling a little bit scared because your self-worth can get threatened when you’re out and about.

Shi:

It can. I had a recent exchange with somebody at the oil change shop, and continue to mull it over in my head the couple hours after, just analyze what you said, what they said, how you responded, what was going on? Did I say the wrong thing? How did I come across? And here I laugh at myself because I’m trying to become more of the observer, of witnessing yourself, have these conversations and experience these emotions. But how much it distracts you from the present moment, which everyone tells you that’s where the magic is, right? It is right here in the present moment. That’s all you have. That’s the reality. And when we let those opinions of us distract us from that present moment, we give ourselves over to that and that’s losing control. Most of us want to keep control and maybe choose better thoughts so that we can experience something better in that present moment.

Kay:

Right. Well, Emma Watson here uses some pretty strong language when she says that it gets scary when your self-worth is tied up in what others think, in what strangers think of you. And I think, Shi, you just alluded to that because what you’re giving up on the other end of that is presence. And when we get down to it, you are an awareness inside that is experiencing this beautiful culmination of thoughts and emotions and physical experience. But that awareness inside is really what you’ve got. And it’s aware of right here, right now. Right now is kind of all that there really is. So when that self-worth is so tied up in when strangers think of you and it gets threatened, your present moment experience can shift. And at that point, you’re giving your most precious gift of presence and time away to someone who you don’t even know.

Shi:

And that can definitely be as scary as anything else. And the only thing you have control over is what happens kind of inside your body. You don’t have control of what other people think, or what they say, or how they feel. And so, trying to give that or trying to control things it’s like, “Heck, it’s hard enough to control the one person you are in charge of and having control over.” Trying to control others, it can be a task that feels so insurmountable. It can make other things feel and look gray as well. And that’s that scary piece. You only get the one life, right? This is not a practice round. It is not a drill, see how risky life is. No one makes it out alive. And so, you’ve got the one track that you get to run it on and play the game. And when we focus on other people’s games or other fields or other gardens, we lose sight of what’s happening in front of us, and you don’t get another shot at that. And I think that it’s so wise when Emma tells us in this quote here on Monday geese-a-laying. Well, it’s five days till Christmas, but this is the sixth day, of course, because you end on Christmas. But what Emma Watson tells us to wrap up for this quote today is, “What gets scary is when your self-worth is tied up in what strangers think of you.”

Kay:

Okay, gang, your quest today is a Monday-get-it-done-day quest. Find three things that you love about yourself. Not something someone else loves about you or a quality that depends on another human, but something you love about you. Now get yourself to a mirror and say your name, so in this case, Kay or Shila, here are three things I love about you and then list those three things. We promise you’re going to feel some greater self-worth going into the holidays ahead. Are you ready?

Shi:

Let’s quest!