Kay:

Hello there, Questers, happy Friday. It’s December 3rd and this is episode 480 of the Mentorship Quest. We have a Michael Singer quote for you today. He is the author of one of Shila and I’s shared, favorite, and most beloved books The Untethered Soul, and the quote for you today is this: “Eventually you will see that the real cause of the problem is not life itself. It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes the problems.”

Shi:

Raise your hand if your mind has made a commotion recently about any particular experience, feeling, occurrence. Kay and I both have.

Kay:

You can’t see us, but all of our hands and feet are up.

Shi:

If you knew, or if you’re watching the Zoom, you would see all of our appendages are raised because there is so much truth in this quote here. The commotion that the mind makes about any kind of particular situation or circumstance can be so absorbing that we truly believe that it is a problem or a crisis or something insurmountable. But when we can look at it objectively and follow a spiritual path like Michael is talking about here, we eventually will see that it’s not really what’s happening outside of us that’s the problem. It’s the way we’re dealing with it on the inside that causes the problem.

Kay:

Now let’s take something super-duper simple as an example just to help bring this into reality. Now consider this, you go outside and it’s very cold. You have a jacket on, and you’ve got gloves but you’re still pretty dang cold even though you are protected. Now, the weather is cold, but you have to be outside because you’ve committed to going to the park with your kids and you told them that you would be there for 30 minutes and then you would come home. Now you’re cold at the park and you are likely in one of two states. You’re either in the state of I’m cold but I’m fine or you’re in the state of I’m cold. I’m uncomfortable. I don’t feel good. Oh, my goodness, the wind, the freezing, my kids’ noses are getting red. My nose is red, but I promised them I would be here. 30 minutes, oh my God, how much time is left. How much time is left on the clock? Oh my God, 15 minutes. Oh my God, it’s only been 15 minutes. Can you believe it? That is so much commotion over one small factor of life, that it is cold outside for this particular outing.

Shi:

I can use a recent personal example. We took my husband and his mom and our three kids to see Hamilton when the Touring Broadway came here to Reno. So fun we got to go do that. Now for whatever reason, I had just in my head imprinted that the start time was 2:00 PM and they told you to get there an hour early. So, we get there at 10 after one. We all get parked. We get there and we’re like, “Gosh, there’s no one here. Parking is already packed. This is crazy.”

We look at the tickets and realize that the start time was actually one o’clock, not two o’clock. So, no worries, happy ending. We got in. It was fine. We missed the first four songs, but we got to our seats, enjoyed the show and everybody loved it and we had a beautiful time. But I was the person who was in charge of the time and the tickets. Being who I am,d everybody just follows my lead and knows that I have these kinds of things on lock and never thinks to look at the tickets and confirm the time because why would any of us do that?

I certainly should have done it but the commotion that my mind made after that was discovered and during the performance and then the following days afterward was a lot. There was so much commotion happening in my mind. It made me emotional. It made me want to cry. It made me feel gross. It made me want to punish myself and made me question and look back. But the reality is we got there, we missed four songs. We had a great time. We watched the show. We came home and everyone was fine. But the commotion in my head was so huge that the problem lasted much longer than missing the four songs, and is a relevant and timely example of what Michael Singer is talking about here and a demonstration of the fact that events unfolded the way they did, and the reality was experienced in the moment that it was. But the commotion in my mind afterward was really the problem for me that I had to work through and deal with.

Kay:

Well, Tony Robbins often says that the problem isn’t the problem, the problem is that you think it’s a problem. In that instance being one of the parties of people who just blindly always trust Shila’s leadership in these things, it caused everyone else in the party very little suffering. Now, of course, there was that moment right at the beginning where hearts are beating fast, and are we going to make it? We get in and what songs are we going to get, and do we know? But as soon as we sat down and one song in everyone was absorbed, and the kids had a great time and that’s not the focus. So, interesting indeed how much suffering ends up getting caused in our minds, such personal suffering that might not necessarily be affecting anyone else around us, but we feel it so deeply because of that commotion in our own personal mind.

Shi:

Before we remind you of the quote, I just want you all to know I still enjoyed the show. I loved it, and have been walking the spiritual journey long enough to know that I can observe the commotion happening and even if it’s hurting and I can feel it, I can choose not to suffer from it. That’s what I continue to do. So, he doesn’t tell you, whether you read the whole book or just gather from the quote here, that the job is to try to get the commotion to stop because that is a losing battle. The job is to gain separation from the commotion, to lean back and to let go, and to really be able to be at peace with the moment that’s unfolding and stay in it and not let yourself get absorbed in that commotion and suffer from it. So, to remind you of what Michael Singer, our favorite author of our favorite book, The Untethered Soul, says, “Eventually you will see that the real cause of the problem is not life itself. It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes the problems.”

Kay:

Okay, guys, that means we’ve got a Fri-yay Weekend Warrior Quest for you today. Today we want you to identify a problem that is causing a commotion in your mind and choose to just observe the problem for one weekend. Don’t buy into the commotion with your emotions and give it energy. Ask yourself how can I create less commotion in my life this weekend by observing my thoughts instead of buying into them when problems arise. Are you ready?

Shi:

Let’s quest!