Kay:

Hello, Questers welcome back. It is September 23rd. I don’t know about you, but we are starting to feel in the full swing of fall. Things are starting to get cozy. Pumpkin spice has been out, oh wait, for six weeks already. This is episode 449 and we are rocking out your Thursday with a Jane Austin quote.

Shi:

Jane Austin was an English novelist who was known primarily for her six major novels. You’ve likely at least heard her name or read one of these but all of her novels include a critique and a kind of social commentary on the British upper-middle class at the end of the 18th century and also really explored the dependencies of women on marriage and the pursuit of favorable social standing and economic security within those higher upper classes in England in the 18th century. So, Jane Auston’s quote for you today is, “There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.”

Kay:

Well, I love this quote especially from a woman who is examining and critiquing in her novels. Kind of a cutthroat space to be where I think tales of the kindhearted woman in the Victorian upper class of England ended up becoming the few and far between because it was a rather competitive space for women to try and get a hubby.

Shi:

I think too from the opposite side of things that even these women who are climbing a social ladder and marrying for so many reasons besides love, that they can’t deny the charm of a tender heart. That even when you’ve got a goal that is maybe not the deepest, most meaningful and significant, and purpose-filled fulfillment style goal, that, that a tender heart can bring you back to feeling that overwhelming charm that is so attractive to all of us. I think even Kay, as you were mentioning all of the fall vibes that we’re feeling and the colors and the flavors and the cooler air and the scarves and the fashion and all of that, that’s charming to us and gives us tenderness in our heart. So, it’s about so much more than romantic relationships.

Kay:

It truly is. It’s this idea of being able I think, to create a sense of empathy. Not just within your own self but helping to maybe give somebody else a picture of what you’re going through at that same time. Can I pull you into my picture? Can I put myself in yours? Do I have that ability to create empathy and sustain empathy? That in my opinion is really where we get down to that tenderness of heart. What does that mean? That really means I think this idea of being empathetic and carrying empathy with you, that idea of being able to swap shoes or vice versa. But the thing is, is that many of us might hear a quote like this and think, well, I was not born a natural Disney princess Cinderella with a tender heart that can just go forward forever. But the good news is that you can actually learn to care. And over time you can build that muscle of empathy and of that tender heart in order to have it be in a way that’s sustainable for you.

Shi:

Tenderness of heart might not be a goal many of us put high on the list but to be charming is something that many of us probably want. If someone says, do you want others to call you charming? You’re like…

Kay:

Yeah!

Shi:

Yeah! I would like being called charming. So, then what the question hopefully, because you are an enlightened soul who thinks deeply on these things, is then what does that mean and how do I achieve charming or charm or that ability to light up someone else, to have them feel pulled towards us or attracted to our message or fired up about our mission. That charm piece, that connection, that level. Then we look at, we find ourselves coming to this from Jane Austin’s “tenderness of heart”. What an almost kind of sideswipe a message that can be because if we think charming many of us probably even think nefarious charm like someone who’s got a ruse going, or a silver tongue devil just saying whatever they can, charming their way into your business or your relationship or your family or your life. But that real charm of the real world coming from the tenderness of heart, just ooh that’s good.

Kay:

Fake charm isn’t sustainable long-term. That’s not something you can upkeep. Eventually, the ruse will end. The curtain will fall, and that un-charming heart will be revealed for all to see. So, as Jane Austin reminds us, “There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.”

Shi:

Alright for this Thoughtful Thursday Quest today we want you to start with charming your own heart because that will lead to tenderness and empathy towards others. So, ask yourself what makes your heart sing. Whatever it is, take time out for it today because making your own heart sing will open it up to others and allow them to be charmed by your tenderness. Are you ready? Think it out with us now.

Kay & Shi:

Let’s quest!