Kay:
Okay. Fam we’re rounding out our two is company, three’s a crowd, four is a party. But five? We’re wrapping a bow on this little family because this is Kay here. I’m done having kids. Shi, are you done having kids?
Shi:
Done, done, done. So, that means five is family.
Kay:
Yep. Party of nine.
Shi:
Fin–as we like to say. And we are so glad to be welcoming little Thomas Daniel Salerno who was born just over a week ago as we record this. It’ll be a few weeks by the time you get to listen, but we’re so glad he is here. He’s healthy. Nine pounds.
Kay:
Yep.
Shi:
22 inches. He was born on April 3rd, 2022, and we’re so glad he is here.
Kay:
4/3/22. So glad to have our little guy.
Shi:
One baby.
Kay:
He’s so sweet, gosh and it’s been so fun to have him in and the biggest difference I think, between, I think, well, all of the birthing experiences up until this point was that Tom was actually born at home.
Shi:
Kay and I were actually born at home, so I love that you’re bringing that full circle. For both of my pregnancies and all three of our kids, were born via C-section and in the hospital, and didn’t have great experiences at either of the hospitals that I went to or with either of those kinds of unfolding events. But you get the prize at the end and you’re always happy with that, but the way you went into this birth with intention Kay, I think is really beautiful and worth sharing.
Kay:
Thank you. Well, this time around the last birth that I had with Violet was in the hospital environment and it wasn’t a terrible experience. I was glad to have had her. I was so grateful for the care of the professionals that were there. But birthing at home was really important to me in this round because I wanted the least amount of impact possible on myself and on the baby. Now birth and labor are really impactful. I’m not going to cuss here because this is a clean podcast, but that stuff hurt real bad. That was impactful for sure. But I wanted the aftercare to just be a little quieter than it was with the hospital environment.
Shi:
You know, at the hospital you’ve got people coming in to check vitals and it’s a very kind of sterile environment and it’s just very, very structured and some people are looking for that level of just… I know I certainly was at the space that I was mentally when it was time for me to have kids. I could not wait to be in the hospital. He said you can go home in four days or five days. I said, five days, I wanted all five nights in the hospital. I wanted as much help as I could possibly get. But for you, that’s not what you wanted, and it wasn’t the way. You walked away from your first birth saying, “If I can choose–and you do get to choose–then I want to do it differently.”
Kay:
I think that’s a really big lesson here and one of the biggest lessons that kind of comes from little Tommy is that that choice really matters and that when you can take that birth choice into your own hands, that it really can have an impact on the outcome. If a mother has the education and the understanding around both sides of that coin and then can approach it in the way that’s most empowering for her, she comes out of the other end a happier mom. Shila was empowered in her decision to have a C-section. She had twins. I think one of them was breach, so it medically makes sense to go forward in that way. For me, I wanted something a little bit more fluid and low impact if you will, when it came to delivering Thomas and doing it at home. But the outcome of a mother empowered by her choices can lessen postpartum depression. It can help with bonding with your baby and ultimately it brings that idea of trauma away from the birthing experience and empowers the mother instead.
Shi:
Yeah, like you said, it’s already traumatic enough and if you’re in an environment where you don’t feel supported for the vision that you have based on the health needs that are around you, then that’s not an empowering state. So, I think that it’s beautiful that you brought that awareness to the process and that you are so committed because it is a commitment and it’s a decision and it’s something you have to go into and know that that’s what you’re going into. But when you did do that, you were 100% committed. You had your decision made, you followed the steps safely. You had all of the people in place that needed to be in place. Obviously working with a midwife and a doula and knowing that you’re minutes away from a hospital should something go wrong was that environment that was for Tommy to come into. We’re so glad he did because he is just such a special addition to the family.
Kay:
Can’t wait to see who he becomes, who he is, what he does, and how he impacts our party of nine.
Shi:
In the last episode, you talked about Violet energetically told you that she was kind of her own lady. What’s been your energy signature from Thomas so far?
Kay:
Nothing. This kid gives me nothing in regard to what I should do or what I should feel. But I will say he’s so cuddly. He’s so loving. He’s very physical but it’s been interesting. I kind of had this like, well, what’s going on because I felt like I had so much of an energetic connection to Violet when she was in the womb, and I had a connection to Tom obviously. He’s my baby and he’s there, but not that level of communication. It’s been interesting to see him come out and be much more physically oriented. He likes to cuddle. He loves to eat. He definitely likes hands and likes sensation when Aunt Shi likes to give him his stretches and his pets. So, it’ll be really cool to see how that unfolds over time as we have, I think a love language of physical touch on our hands.
Shi:
Well, thanks for getting to know our little crew, the five mini Kay and Shi’s out there in the world, mini Chad and Danny’s too. We know that they are some of our greatest teachers and we look forward to continuing to learn from them and from you as the journey continues.
