Kay:
Okay. Here on tough staff week, we have covered hard conversations, negotiating, and today we’re going to go over what to do when your motivation comes up against a hard wall.
Shi:
Motivation for all of us is one of those triggers that is pretty important to us getting done what we need to get done. Now there are people who talk about motivation then there are the anti-motivation people, but let’s just all come to the understanding that motivation as we’re going to understand it here today is having that internal drive to actually take the action or achieve the thing that you said you were going to do even if you don’t feel like it. So, that motivation piece is that drive to do it and that means that we can be missing this in all kinds of different realms of our lives.
Kay:
Now, if you’re a human being chances are you’ve come against the feeling of, I don’t want to. It’s actually making me think of… there’s a song that’s like, “I don’t really want to do the work today. I don’t really want to do the work today.” And I think all of us can relate with having motivation blocks especially when things get hard.
Shi:
Well, that’s when it definitely gets challenging because when things are going well it can be easy to feed off of that positive momentum to fuel ourselves forward and a lot of folks at that moment might deal with some of those sabotage issues and we could probably even classify those into motivation blocks. I know for me, personally, sister Shila here, that when I’m feeling like I’m lacking in motivation I start to have that almost desperation feeling like this is going to last forever. I’ve lost it. I’m not the real kind of person who does this and you get in that mode of like, it’s never coming back. Then later when you do feel motivated and you’re achieving a list and you’re getting it done, and you’re doing your chores at home and you got that little pep in your step and you’re feeling motivated those are those moments where I’m reminding myself like, “Hey, the next time you’re feeling so desperate that your motivation has gone, remember that it ebbs and flows.” That’s what I know I’ve been focusing on lately when it comes to motivation blocks.
Kay:
That’s so beautiful because I think many of us can get into the trap of thinking that it’s gone forever or “I’m just not a motivated person,” and that can be a really difficult place to be in because that level of desperation oftentimes can lead to depression or anxiety, and you don’t take the action that you know that taking will make you feel better. Then afterward you start to have that mounting list of things that are going or things that you have to do which can actually decrease your motivation instead of helping you to get things done.
Shi:
Another way that I know we both find really helpful in terms of keeping our motivation strong is having something to work towards. Now, best practice is, if you read “Atomic Habits,” you’ll know you’re really wanting to work towards building an identity. So rather than run the marathon the goal should be to become a marathon runner. But we have found that having certain carrots on sticks in front of us from a neuroscience perspective and from a personal motivation perspective helps a lot. Having a trip that you are trying to be in shape for. Having an exciting, fun adventure that you are working towards and you’re imagining when you go, the inbox is clear, and the things are done, and the house is clean, and all of those things help keep you motivated through some of those more mundane day to day things.
Kay:
So, if maybe you are sitting in the space of desperation and you’re like, man, I don’t have anything on the horizon and I just don’t know how to get myself motivated. One really easy thing that you can do if you haven’t done it already is to just make a list. Look, you don’t have to check off anything.
Shi:
A to-do list.
Kay:
You don’t have to do that list. You don’t have to even start that list. But if you just create the list and write it down, understanding what the roadmap ahead looks like helps to just increase your level of motivation because now it’s not the insurmountable ghost in the shadows.
Shi:
Right.
Kay:
It’s the beast you know, and you can start tackling things one at a time.
Shi:
Gosh, I love that advice and I also love that both of us practice trying to couple things we don’t necessarily love with things that we do love in order to find the motivation to do them easier. The easiest example, of course, is that I love to watch junk TV shows while I run my miles on the treadmill every morning. But that’s my time that I get to watch “Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” and “The Morning Show” and “Ted Lasso” and keep up a little bit on pop culture. So, we hope you’ve enjoyed talking tough stuff, motivation blocks and for the final installment, we’re going to be talking about crises in leadership.
