Kay:
Okay. We’re rounding out here in the be a C student week with one of our favorite principles, which is to call it like it is.
Shi:
Now yesterday or in the last installment we talked about how clarity counts, and this is in alignment with this message, but a little bit different because there is this real tendency to sugar coat things or hide certain inevitable truths in webs of communication and conversation that can make the message not only not clear and a little bit befuddled but can make the mission and the motivation wane as well. So, calling it like it is means that we’re courageous and we’re willing to say the hard thing to plainly define reality. To not be so visionary, so pie in the sky, so optimistic that we aren’t able to see the weeds in the garden if you will. So, being able to call it like it is, is one of those skills that as we refine it over time, we really see its value.
Kay:
Now, one of the hardest people to be this level of truthful with is yourself. Maybe every single night, you head down to the freezer, and you pull out that ice cream tub, and you have a cup of ice cream, and every single night, that’s your ritual and that’s what you do. What you say to yourself is, “Well, I just like my sweet treat or it’s my one thing.” But you also are having some candy during your lunch and you’re also snacking on some sweet stuff in the afternoon. Now chances are that cup of ice cream is actually a sugar addiction and not just that sweet treat at the end of the day, especially if it’s happening every single day of your life. So, it can be really difficult to have this level of honesty with yourself because our brains are master justifiers.
Shi:
Super master justifiers. “I’m just too tired. I don’t have time. We don’t have money.” But calling it like it is means using phrases like “I’m not willing to do that,” or “I’m choosing not to engage in the healthy behavior or constructive behavior or maybe even in the destructive behavior” because this is going to align also with celebrate yourself. Call it like it is. If you fricking rocked something, call it like it is.
Kay:
Yes.
Shi:
You deserve that pat on the back, you should call it like it is. You knocked it out of the park. You’ve got a home run. Call it like it is goes both ways, but we find it usually, I think, harder to call it like it is when it can be one of those sticky things or something that we’re struggling with. One of the metaphors that John Maxwell likes to use is, “The leader is really someone who, when they’re lost with a party and they’re trying to get back to the crash site or whatever, they’ll climb the tree to get the view and now they’ll call out to their party ‘wrong jungle’.” So, they’re calling it like it is. “We’re not even close to where we are,” and this can be really helpful, especially in leadership.
Kay:
It could be helpful in understanding for your team. If your team has this idea that you’re really close to the end but you’re really far from the goal actually, and you’re the leader, and even sugarcoating it or trying to keep hope alive by not just telling everyone where you’re actually at. This can be one of the things that end up de-motivating the team as they get closer because they realize that the goal is further than they might have seen initially. Now, last week you heard us talk about crisis leadership, and Shi you talked a little bit about this nut of realism surrounded by the chocolate of hope. I think that that’s a really great way to think about if you’re a leader that calling it like it is isn’t about being pessimistic. I think most pessimists would call themselves realists. So saying, “I’m just a realist and that is how it is.” But it’s about balancing this idea of this truthfulness, this reality of the situation while continuing to breed hope in the people that follow you.
Shi:
Tony Robbins says you don’t just want to look at your garden and chant, “There are no weeds, there are no weeds, there are no weeds.” That would be kind of that may be an idealistic picture of positive thinking and affirmations to manifest the garden with no weeds. He says if you really want to be a leader and an achiever and a high earner in all respects of the word, then you’re going to look at the garden and you’re going to say, “There are weeds right there,” and what are the strategies to getting out weeds and what are the ones that are going to employ methods that I am in alignment with? So, calling it like it is and saying, “There are weeds in the garden or money’s running out or my health is in danger or our relationship is on the rocks,” calling it like it is allows you to have clarity about where you’re starting place is so that you can identify where it is that you want to go from there, and ultimately take steps to do it.
Kay:
So, we want to call it like it is so that we can gain the clarity, so we can consistently take action. And then we can celebrate ourselves along the way. We hope that you’ve enjoyed being a C student with us here this week on the Kay & Shi Show and we’re here to celebrate you and help you in your consistency, in your clarity, and in your ultimate truths.
Shi:
Thanks, everybody. We’re in your corner and we’re rooting for you. Have a great weekend.
