Kay & Shi Show #6 Doing It All

Shi:

Alright. It’s a new week and we’ve found a new topic here on the Kay & Shi Show, and we are kicking off week two with one of the questions we get asked all the time which is how do you handle it all?

Kay:

Now, the biggest secret that we have when it comes to this question is that most people are looking for some really cool organizational answer, like some strategy for how we handle the mom life and the entrepreneurial life and the spiritual life and the physical life and how do you handle it all while this secret is…

Kay & Shi:

We don’t!

Shi:

We do not handle it all. We are supported and have a massive support system and team around us, and we’ll always point it back to them. We have people in each of those areas that Kay just mentioned, each of those realms who help us and make all this possible.

Kay:

Yep. Some of those people who we just need to shout out right now, first and foremost, our husbands and partners, Danny and Chad.

Shi:

We are so grateful for both of you. Danny edits the podcast you’re listening to here. Chad supports all of our travel, staying with the three kids and running all of their schedules and works, and serves in so many amazing ways and we’re just so grateful for the support of our husbands who allow us so much flexibility at home.

Kay:

Now, of course, we also have to give a shout-out to our incredible teams, not only on our personal growth and development side of things. Megan, you know, we love you. We see you, Kendra, we see you too. But on the Squeeze In side of things as well, we are so blessed in the restaurant industry to have teams because we honestly couldn’t do it if there weren’t people behind us who were helping.

Shi:

No, but one of those people is a recent addition to our circle and his name is Amir. He is the new CEO.

Kay:

Amir!

Shi:

Amir, you are amazing. The new CEO of the Squeeze In, the new leader that’s been brought in there is just doing so well. With the team that we had there, which was Alicia and Ian, Victoria we’re so grateful for all of your hard work over on the Squeeze In side and hey, I know you shouted out our Launch team and our Infinite Energy team, but just truly Megan, Kendra, Martina, Brandon, Maria, you guys all work so hard, and we see you and we’re so grateful for you. But I feel like our teams are obvious. Our husbands are obvious, our parents and our in-laws pitch in a lot as well with childcare, with food, with cleaning, with so much. But there are even so many more that support us in named and unnamed ways that truly when people ask, how do you do it all? The answer is we do not.

Kay:

Well, we couldn’t do it without people just like you who are listening even today. You know, I think that there’s a big misconception that flows around the personal growth and development industry and many of us have kind of heard this adage that everyone has the same 24 hours in the day. And if we’re going, to be honest, I’ve subscribed to that here.

Shi:

Absolutely.

Kay:

Yeah, both of us have subscribed to this idea in the past that we all have the same 24 hours in the day. We used to say we all have the same 24 hours in the day, even Oprah. But that’s not really true. We do not have the same 24 hours in a day having the full support of our life partners and our husbands as a single mom has in that 24 hours in a day.

Shi:

Exactly. Considering all of those, either social issues or constraints or poverty that you have, your 24 hours have to look a lot different. Oprah can design her 24 hours however she likes but she came from a really hard background and faced massive odds. So, her story is very inspiring, and she may even sometimes say something like everyone has the same 24 hours, But the hill she had to climb was a lot steeper than everyone else’s, which means that it’s really not equal. Even though it might be the same distance if the angle is steeper, it’s going to be a lot harder to get to the top.

Kay:

You know, we live right now in something called a meritocracy and the meritocracy has some really interesting social ideals behind it. So, I want to invite a very special guest to the podcast right now. Her name is Professor Shi. Shi, educate us. What is the meritocracy and how does it play into this discussion?

Shi:

Well, the meritocracy is being valued, and thank you for that lovely Professor Shi introduction there. It is when we value someone’s achievements and their placement as their worth as an individual. What’s important to understand here is that for many of us, this is just absolutely ingrained that this is how society is, and this is normal. But this isn’t the only way to design societies and so a meritocracy is typically very individualistic. You’re going to hear things like you can achieve anything. Anyone can get to the top if you work hard enough, the same 24 hours, those kinds of things. But in other cultures, you have a more communal approach where it’s about the community first. It’s about valuing individuals and humans and you won’t hear so much of that, but you’ll hear it’s the good of the order. How do we protect the next generation? So, even just understanding that there are shifts like that can help you understand why maybe you value achievement so much, or maybe why you’re comparing yourself and holding yourself accountable to standards that might not be as easy to achieve as you’ve been told.

Kay:

So, give yourself some slack, if maybe you’re a high achiever like us, and oftentimes you can fall into that trap of well, that idea that everybody has that same 24 hours then why is my life looking different? So, I’m glad that we got into that. We’ve learned a lot along the way about how we maximize what we can with the time that we have. One of the things that we really learned in this is that you don’t have to do it all and you shouldn’t do it all. You should look for help and it’s okay to ask for help especially when you’re not strong at something.

Shi:

Right. You can keep trying to get stronger in those areas, but it is definitely frustrating and it’s to the detriment of your own growth and your own fulfillment. So, we would really encourage you to find what you’re good at and try and stay in that lane the most. That can feel like, well, that’s easy to say because you have the money, or you have the connections, or you have the whatever. But if we can focus our gumption in that direction, rather than just keep on grinding, it’s a lot more strategic and it can usually help you figure out what that support network can look like so that you can stay in that strength zone more often.

Kay:

Well, instead of focusing on trying to make your gaps filled in where you’re weakest, working on those skills in which you’re weakest, spending your time working where your strongest can help you to develop those skills, and trust us, there are plenty of skills that will come around you as you move down your journey. Now, moving down the journey sometimes is not fricking easy. Sometimes moving down the path hurts. It’s painful and you’ll hear a lot here in the Kay & Shi Show. We’re going to be sharing stories and examples every week of things that have happened in our entrepreneurial journey, and it can be hard to go on. But one of those little tenets of success is that if you just keep going, eventually you’ll succeed.

Shi:

Oh, don’t quit messaging. It’s so simple, but so not easy, and maybe you’ve been in that place where you want to give up or you want to throw in, or you just feel like you can’t anymore and continuing to go, not make course corrections. We definitely think that you should always be reevaluating and course correcting but continuing to pursue that which you desire, and you’re trying to achieve or accomplish or build. Eventually, the person who gets to that endpoint has had to have gone through all of those steps. So, you can too, and, and sometimes it does just come down to that, getting through it, grinding through it, and staying accountable to yourself so that you can come through it and get out on the other side.

Kay:

So, our biggest secret to handling it all.

Kay & Shi:

We don’t!

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