Kay: 

Hey family. Welcome back. We’re here this week to talk all about values. 

Shi:

I’m so glad we get to bring this subject forward and examine it together this week. It’s one that’s often talked about, a word that’s used a lot, and sometimes it can become white noise. 

Kay: 

So you’re gonna hear us discuss personal values, business values, and then other kinds of values and how they apply to your life. 

Shi:

Wanna kick off talking about values, where understanding exactly what we’re talking about when we use the word values. Once we can all be on the same page, it’s easier to talk about a subject. And when you look up the definition of values, you see a person’s principles or standards of behavior, one’s judgment of what is important in life. 

Kay: 

Ooh, what a powerful definition. I just wanna focus on that ‘standards of behavior’ piece, because really what your values come down to are, what you hold yourself accountable for, and then how you act out your life. And as we know, our actions create so much of our world. So being able to kind of hone in on what’s dictating those actions can really be helpful for you.

Shi:

Yeah, when we look at that phrase in particular, Kay, ‘to standards of behavior,’ it’s not standards of ideals, right? Standards of best practice. It’s standards of behavior, which means you can tell someone’s values if you examine their behavior. What are the results in their life? How do they behave? How do they conduct themselves? This is going to reflect what their actual values are rather than what their stated values are. 

Kay:

So whether you like it or not, your values are dictating your decisions. And when you can get a hold of your values and understand them from a personal art business–you’re gonna hear about some of the other kind of group values that we have–when you’re able to figure out what those are, you’re able to be more intentional in the way that you create action in your life. 

Shi:

Right. Let me ask you a question, right? Have you ever had a moment where you would probably agree that you’re not proud of the way you behaved? Maybe you told a lie, maybe you avoided somebody, maybe you acted in a way you weren’t proud of, but you are the kind of person who would say that you value integrity or you value connection, or you value honesty. That this is one of those areas where you can see sometimes our stated values are different than how we behave and act. And once we bring awareness to that, then we can really start to play a game that for us has been deeply fulfilling and extremely rewarding. 

Kay:

Well, we’re excited to talk about someone who we think has a great deal of values in their life, but who is also someone who recently acted in a way that he wasn’t super proud of. 

Shi:

We are talking about Will Smith. Everyone knows him, the world famous superstar. We recently even talked about his book in a previous episode, we both read it this spring and we loved it. We loved getting to know the character of Will Smith in person. He is just as large of a character as he seems to be in the public eye. And it was really amazing to hear some of his stories and hear him talk about some of the decisions he’s made along the way and how they reflect his values. 

Kay:

So as we reflected on Will Smith’s story and the actions that he took throughout the book, we really kind of identified a few of the values that we think come forward for Will. Now it seems like he really values family. He clearly values fitness. He’s very dedicated to his routine. He values protection, loyalty, and of course, achievement. I mean, he’s one of the biggest superstars in the world. 

Shi:

He talks a lot about this too. You know, if we’re gonna look at his standards of behavior that he’s held himself to, as you read the book, you’ll see he’s got all of these different instances in his life and scenarios where he’s demonstrating these values, even sometimes when they’re destructive, like the slap heard around the world.

Kay:

Ah, the slap heard… reverberating… A lot happened with that slap. Maybe you haven’t been anywhere near the internet within the last two months or three months. Yeah. You might not know that Will Smith got up on stage at the Oscars and slapped Mr. Chris Rock across the face after he made a joke about his wife, Jada, who suffers from a disease called alopecia, which causes hair loss. And she’s been open about this in the public eye and Chris Rock made a joke about her being bald. But as we’ve gone through Will Smith’s book, and now reflecting on how his values were dictating his actions, understanding that he values family and protection to the point where maybe he acts in a way he’s not proud of becomes way more understandable. 

Shi:

Yeah. And he talks about it in the book. Even from a young boy, he always wanted to be in a monogamous relationship where he could be the hero, where he’s the protector. He just wants to spoil a woman and love her to death. And that’s been his quest romantically forever. And you saw that play out in the clip and during that moment for him, and obviously, not as the proudest moment, but it is reflective of his values. And so it’s just interesting to see that they can both help us and sometimes steer us in an emotionally charged direction if we let them. If we let ourselves succumb to that emotion. But coming up next, we are looking forward to talking about how figuring out our own personal values has really helped us transform the way we make decisions.