Have you heard of Rachel Hollis? Of course, you have you’re hip, and with it. We’re big fans and love alll the work that she does and we are seriously excited to share with you our thoughts on her latest book, Girl, Stop Apologizing! We couldn’t get enough of her first personal growth book, Girl, Wash Your Face, and wondered if she could deliver a second time so close after the first. We were a little hesitant going into this one that it would be a rehash. Imagine our relief and joy when we got into this book and started seeing new lessons, stories and knowledge that once again were enrapturing, relatable and totally on point.
“The world needs your spark. The world needs your energy. The world needs you to show up for your life and take hold of your potential.”
The lesson of ‘show up’ is a core principle to us and in Girl, Stop Apologizing Rachel echos this cornerstone of success. Show. Up. Show up to the hard stuff, the mundane stuff and the commitments you’ve made. Showing up applies to just about every aspect of your life from showing up to tough conversations to showing up fully and being present at an event or showing up to a commitment to yourself the message is simple- SHOW UP. Like so many great truths of life, it’s simple, but definitely not always easy.
Brene Brown says if someone makes a promise to you and doesn’t follow through you will be disappointed in them and if they keep not following through on their promises you will flat out stop trusting them- but what about yourself? Do you trust yourself to follow through on the promises you are making? Nobody else can show up on your behalf, Rachel says, “you’re going to have to be your own coach as well as your own hype squad”. In order to be your own coach and hype squad, you are going to have to keep your word to yourself and show the eff up to your life. Hype it up!!!
“Not having the knowledge makes you teachable, not stupid. Not being in shape makes you moldable, not lazy. Not having the experience just makes you eager, not ignorant.”
Anything you want and need in your life can be learned. Rachel Hollis says in order to achieve what you want in your life you need a skill set that includes the following: planning, confidence, persistence, effectiveness, positivity, and leadership. Did you read that right? YES! These are skills not traits, talents or gifts. Positivity is a skill. Leadership is a skill. Confidence and planning and effectiveness are skills! These are not inherited traits that you are born with, these skills are learned. Isn’t that a relief? Many of us will say: “I’m just not a confident person” and let that be an excuse, a crutch or a reason not to engage or chase your dreams. In reality, you just need to practice the skill of confidence and much like the skill of running, or dancing or piano playing, it takes time, commitment and getting a little (lot) uncomfortable.
“You are allowed to want more for yourself for no other reason than because it makes your heart happy. You don’t need anyone’s permission”
This was a big AH HA for us in this one. Rachel says, “Grown up women don’t ask permission.” Woah. Why is this so mind bending for us? After all we’re progressive millennial ladies who were daughters to a feminist Mom and who preach on independence and responsibility. We are all of those things and we also have found ourselves-often subconsciously-asking permission to do things. “Can I get a workout in while the kids work on homework?” “Is it alright if I leave this afternoon to get my hair done?” “Is it okay if I go to Atlanta for a personal growth conference?” Those are all permission seeking statements and they are all statements we’ve uttered. This concept does NOT mean not being courteous or thinking about the impact that your actions have on others. What it does mean is that you take responsibility for controlling your own life and not apologizing for it. Rather than, Is it okay if I go to Atlanta? Why not: I’d like to go to Atlanta and it means you’ll have to cover the business and kids while I’m gone but it’s something that means a lot to me and I’m committed to applying what I learn to better us all. It’s shifting from a hopeful plea to a compassionate statement.
There is a flip side to having full control over your life and being a “grown-up”, you cannot blame others for what happens in your life. You are in control of your life, not your boss, not your spouse, not your kids, not the morning traffic, YOU. We know this is easy to grasp when you’re wrapped in a cozy blanket of security sipping cocoa and relaxing. In those rare moments when you’re not blanket-clad and cocoa sipping be sure to give yourself armor for things that can happen that you are not expecting. Commit to making decisions for yourself and stick to those no matter what. Slay a morning workout, have a good meeting, etc. Things that you are not expecting will ALWAYS happen but you have to keep going unconditionally. Persistence cannot thrive in a conditional environment. It’s your choice, whether you are going to pick yourself up and not allow things to get to you and set you off track. If you expect some unexpected bumps in the road it will be a lot easier to persist. Divorce your mood and your goals from the conditions and circumstances around you.
“By embracing your calling and refusing to hide your glow, you wouldn’t just make your world brighter, you’d light the way for the women who come behind you.”
Finally, lighting the way for women to come behind you means being honest about the journey. You’re not lighting the path by sugarcoating the work that you had to put in and bumps in the road that you encountered.This also means being honest about the help that we need in order to reach the level of success that we desire. Yes, we’re talking about nannies (the ultimate trigger word for mommy shamers) and not always being able to be the one to clean your own house after that 80 hour week and whatever other help you may need; share it with other women who are watching you and feeling as if they are failing because they can’t do it all!
This book spoke so deeply to us and we believe that it will speak so deeply to you as well. Whether you feel like you’re life is in a million pieces or you have it completely together, you WILL take something valuable from this book.
If you couldn’t tell we would absolutely recommend this book and we love all this Rachel Hollis! If you haven’t read Girl, Stop Apologizing yet, get it here & if you haven’t read Girl, Wash Your Face yet, get it here! Don’t have time to read it? The audiobook is read by Rachel herself and is SO good. Head over to our Amazon storefront for a special gift from us, two free audiobooks and a free 30 day trial of Audible!