Kay:
Welcome back Questers! It’s Tuesday, December 8th, and this is episode 242. We have a fun quote for you today. That’s all about the fact that we are family…
Shi:
Coming to you from two actual sisters, today’s quote is from Jane Howard, who was an English novelist and author of 12 novels, including the best-selling series, “The Cazalet Chronicles” which we confess we have not read, but they sound very interesting. What’s even more interesting is this quote today from Jane who tells us, “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family, whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”
Kay:
Ah, well, this is not just a heartwarming quote, but actually a biological function of human beings. If you have ever done or read or seen any kind of studies around what happens when people or babies are isolated…Actually, babies get something called failure to thrive syndrome, where they literally won’t thrive without human connection. And you see this displayed in older married couples. If one person passes, it is usually within six months that the other person passes as well. So, from a warm and fuzzy standpoint to a biological need, you need people around you.
Shi:
Right. And she’s telling us here to call it whatever you want. It really is that inner circle, those people that you trust, that you can rely on, that you give and sacrifice for and that do the same for you. This belonging piece is an important one in all of our lives, but it plays a different role for many of us just depending on where you are in life or maybe the conditions that you were raised in make you feel like you don’t belong. But all kinds of different things get in the way of this. But if you don’t have that clan, that network, that tribe, that family, you really are missing out and you’re hurting yourself in the process.
Kay:
What I like about how she has defined this here is that if you maybe are someone who doesn’t have living relatives it’s okay for that to be your friend group or your work tribe or your network of people that you’ve come to meet just as long as you have other people around you who’ve come to support you. One of the things that I want to just lean in here for a quick second is that word “network” – because you’ve heard a lot in business that your network is your net worth. But a network is so much more than just the people you shake hands with at the cocktail parties, it’s fellow business people who are on the same path that you’re on, which you can source you with ideas. You can bring them problems that you need help with that oftentimes in a professional sense can be really helpful and a very fulfilling, professional asset to you. If that’s not something that you’ve cultivated yet, we’d highly suggest it.
Shi:
Well on the personal level, this belonging piece matters. On the professional level this networking piece matters and in the marketing sense whether you are running a business owner, you own your own business, you’re a solopreneur, you work for someone else marketing is a key component of all of the businesses in the world basically. This is solid marketing advice right here. You want to get people who like your brand, who support your people, who support your message and your mission. You want to build a little fence around them if we’re going to use marketing terms from Dan Kennedy here and you want to stay in a relationship with them and that’s what this is all about. Having relationships, having that ability to give and take from a group of people. If you’re in business, you know, there’s money that exchanges. If you’re in the family, there’s support that exchanges and all kinds of different things. But in terms of that marketing piece here, this advice is plain good advice.
Kay:
Yep, and like Shi said, at every level of your life this belonging matters. So, maybe take a look at your life. Where do you need people? Is it in the workplace? Is it in your friendships? We’re not saying you have to have a million friends. Me personally, Kay here, I have three friends and one of them is Shila. And Shila has like 13 friends and one of them is me. So, it all depends on who you are, but on these levels of your life, you need people, even if it’s only a few, you need people.
Shi:
Well, that makes me think too about our gym habits. That’s a place where you like to find belonging and you go work out at a community gym at Camie Cragg Fitness, which is so amazing, and I love that you’ve built community and friendship there. For me, that’s my solitary time. I work out very early in the mornings, just myself in my garage. I really like to have my quiet runtime. So, belonging doesn’t have to belong in every area of your life, but it belongs in most areas. It definitely makes life better. So, just to remind you of what Jane Howard told us, she says, “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family, whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”
Kay:
Alrighty gang that means today we’ve got a community quest for you. Today we’re challenging you to connect with someone you may have lost touch with whether that’s through a text or a phone call, or maybe you were going to actually pick up a pen and paper and write an old-fashioned letter. But whatever it is, connect with that community. Are you ready?
Kay & Shi:
Let’s quest!