Kay:
Hey there Questers, and welcome to Episode 82! Must be Mother Teresa-Tuesday, because we’ve got a quote coming right for you!
Shi:
She says, “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
Kay:
Now Shila and I are kind of obsessed with smiling…Some days, (especially when we’re out and about, or we’re networking, or we’re getting out and loving on people) we get back and we’re like, “MAN, our cheeks hurt”!
Shi:
Our cheeks do hurt after a day out with people. And we love to smile and we love to make others smile! And smiling is one of those things that indicates warmth and it indicates genuineness. And, so often it’s easy to give that to others, and then we’ll withhold it from the people that are close to us. BUT, if the smile is the beginning of love, the ones we love the most should be getting the most of our smiles!
Kay:
When I was a little kid, I heard a statistic that it only takes eight muscles in your face to smile and it takes 43 muscles in your face to frown. And so as an eight year old, I would ponder on this…Like, WHY would we use so much of our energy to frown in our face when smiling is so easy?
Shi:
Right? I remember hearing that statistic too. And that I think is because we really are created to smile and we’re created to love. And so if the smile is the beginning of love, then we’re able to, you know, show that physical expression. And let us always meet each other with a smile… It means more than just the teeth bearing or the grin or even the sense of warmth. But it really means that sense of openness. What love brings is that openness, that genuineness, that willingness to be authentic…
Kay:
It’s almost like creaking the door open to love. It gives you that little way in…You know, it’s the first physical expression other than crying that baby’s learn?! Like the number one positive thing that humans get. It’s your first positive physical expression that you’re equipped with! It’s a smile. So you’re literally built for this, and it can actually change your chemistry to smile as well. If you’re having a bad day, just 14 seconds of smiling can help increase the oxytocin in your bloodstream! Did you know that fake laughing can make you REAL laugh? Which can help increase those happy chemicals inside your body. So smiling can do some real physical good for ya!
Shi:
Man, there was about five years there where my husband Chad and I commuted from Reno up to Truckee. It’s about a 30 minute drive. And, you know, then we’d go up and we would work the day. We’d serve, he would cook, I would serve, and we would bust together. And it was, you know, “the good old days.” But there were some times when on the way up (and knowing the statistics…if you guys out there know my husband, you know – he’s very logical – very numbers based, very statistical, evidence based, empirical type person). And so when we heard all of the data around the fact that even fake smiling will trigger the happy endorphins – sometimes on the drive up we would just do the fake smile and we would hold it for 14 seconds. But it would always turn into genuine laughter – genuine fun – and now it’s one of those things that if we do it, or we say it to each other, we’re instantly transported back to those early days in our marriage of driving up to Truckee and working the floor at the Squeeze In together. And so even NOW fake smiling turns into real memories with the real love of my life! I mean if that doesn’t tell you the power of a smile, I don’t know what does 😉
Kay:
AW, well I’m sure that the initial feelings of love and your relationship began with a smile – and started from that look across the way – and the smile that took place to open that door into something greater and more beautiful! And now you have children that smile back at you and you smile together! And – you know – you might be the kind of person who’s conditioned the muscles on your face for not smiling…Maybe you’re the kind of person who frowns more than you smile…Maybe smiling is a little foreign to you…If that is the case, go grab a pencil and put it between your teeth and do your best to not let your lips touch it! And just do that until you feel the real smile emerge and then remove the pencil…That’s a good trick that can help you if maybe you feel like you don’t want to smile!
Shi:
I love that advice! And I love how using something simple like a smile with your kids, with your loved ones, with your pets, with each other, with your family, with your parents on FaceTime…It’s those little acts, those little drops in the bucket that say I love you and that and indicate that warmth and that genuineness and that ability to be open and vulnerable with each other! And sometimes you think a smile doesn’t mean that much, but it really can. And certainly with holding a smile…we all know that tension that starts to happen in any kind of relationship when there’s not ENOUGH smiling!
Kay:
So if you’re feeling like maybe you’ve been holding back some smiles lately – or you haven’t been smiling enough – or maybe you’re just getting used to staring at your phone screen or your computer screen without really engaging with the content that’s there and feeling it. So like – you know – seeing something funny and giving it a, “hmph”, instead of really leaning in and giving it a full on smile?! If you feel the urge to *haha*, then let your face respond to that! Really lean in there. We promise you will have some happier times in your life…So that brings us to today’s quest….
Shi:
Yep. Chances are you like and love the people that you are quarantined with (or you least did at some point)! So give them the gift of that smile today.
Kay:
We are super awkwardly smiling at each other, right now…
Shi:
(*Giggles*) TRUTH! Have a good one guys 🙂
