Kay:
Hey there Questers! Welcome to Episode 84 of The Mentorship Quest! Today’s quote comes to you from my spirit animal – who is Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler’s character) in the show Parks and Recreation. It’s kind of obscure, but if you’ve ever watched the show, you will see that she embodies so much of what Shila and I hold dear and near to our hearts as far as values. But, in this quote, she says, “What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.”
Shi:
It’s such a Leslie Knope thing to say. Amy Poehler starred in SNL with Tina Fey. Parks and Recreation was her NBC show then, and it was just so good. And it’s about this local government agency (the Parks and Rec department), and how they kind of navigate being a Parks and Rec department! And, she is blonde…She is funny….She is optimistic, and peppy, and dorky, and YES…we definitely relate with Leslie Knope!
Kay:
Well they’re in Pawnee, Indiana. And so it would seem like Leslie Knope’s career decisions have led her into the dumps. But, throughout the entire show, she holds hope for higher office and for change in her community. She fights for what’s right for her people and for the land. She does all kinds of cool things. Leslie Knope is a fantastic character and Amy Poehler (who plays her) is a wonderful woman, a great author, and incredible actress! But, what I love about this quote is that many of us get yelled at and then we cry. Or, we feel really sad. And, it sucks to be yelled at. But the frankness of it is that anger, (literally 100% of the time) comes from a place of caring.…
Shi:
Right? And even though it hurts in the moment, we can usually find something that can be useful, or something where we can see that it’s driven from a place of either caring about you as a person, or caring about the situation – or the product – or the issue. You know…if you’re on the receiving end of a customer service call – and someone’s very passionate about not getting their medicine, or booking their travel, or being inconvenienced – and so, they’re really caring about their subject, even if they’re YELLING at you. So – if only we could ALL be this plucky about it, right?! This is a plucky attitude right here from Leslie Knope!
Kay:
This is a plucky attitude! And, what I love about that is how she kind of takes it in this way of “I’m going to find the care” and “I’m going to seek what’s behind that anger.” And, some of you might be thinking, “well, some anger is senseless, and some anger is just anger”. But, sometimes the anger comes from a place of, “I care SO MUCH about maintaining my identity”, or “I care so much about continuing my own status quo or furthering my own ideals”, or “I care so much about my religion or my extremist views” or whatever it may be! Meaning that even the darkest hate and anger comes from a place of care at some level!
Shi:
Even if it’s care for yourself, or your beliefs! Because care is objective. It’s just a matter of how much we’re focusing and dedicating to something when we REALLY look at what care is. So, the philosophy of, “what I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me”…is really just a great way to think about it, and such a positive attitude to have! And truly a DEEP quote when you unpack it in this way and realize that anger comes from a place of caring.
Kay:
Now, Leslie says this when she’s being yelled at, but “yelling” means something different to everybody! For example, my husband takes yelling as, “I’m actually RAISING my voice”…And I think a lot of men actually take it this way. Our dad is also one of those people, and both my husband and our dad listen to the podcast…So HELLO! But, sometimes you can yell with your face and your facial expressions. And sometimes you can yell with your energy…
Shi:
I know as a kid, I got more sensitive to what the energy behind the yelling was. And, since then, I’ve come to understand it as a place of intense caring. And you FEEL that in an energy, even if someone doesn’t have their voice raised. So, you know, it might not technically be “yelling” – but we used to tell our dad that his eyebrows were yelling at us because they would go away, up onto his forehead – and he would say so much with so little!
Kay:
Exactly! So, look: There might be someone in your life right now who’s yelling at you, or maybe someone is going to yell at you in the future. Or, maybe you could come across an angry situation or a place of anger in your own life. So – your quest for today is to try and flip the script there a little bit. Like Shila said – find the underlying energy and hear the care (like Leslie Knope does) the next time someone yells at you!
Shi:
Get PLUCKY and hear the care behind the yell!
Kay:
Happy Questing!
