Kay:

Hey there Questers, and welcome, once again! It is Thursday, August 27th and this is Episode 169 of the Mentorship Quest. We’ve got a Queen Latifah quote for you today and she says, “From the time I really accepted myself, everything got brighter. People were attracted to me, for me.”

Shi:

Queen Latifah – a serious queen with a lot of talent! We have loved her for years, and, of course, probably our favorite role of Queen Latifah’s is from Chicago…Yes, she is the mistress of Murderess Row. Yeah – she’s amazing! Her real name is Dana Elaine Owens, if you didn’t know. So, fun fact for you! But, whether you call her Queen Latifah or Dana, this quote is a great reminder that – with self acceptance and belief in yourself – others will feel that authenticity, and be attracted to you.

Kay:

The catch I think a lot of us can fall into, or the “hook” that many of us bite is the idea that our acceptance has to come from other people. And, even if you’re super woke – (like we consider ourselves to be) – and are the kind of people who have a lot of self-acceptance already… chances are you still sometimes fall into the trap of seeking that approval and acceptance from other people, and sometimes from the conditions and circumstances of your own life as well.

Shi:

So, how do we accept ourselves? What are some of the things that we can do in order to build that belief in ourselves? For one, you can start keeping the promises that you make to yourself, this builds a lot! For another, (you might’ve heard me talk about this before, if you’re a longtime listener), I’ve always had my daily checklist, right? So, that’s one of the things that I have where, (if I start to feel overwhelmed by things, or guilty, or downtrodden), I just bring it back down to the day. Like, what are the five things today that, (if you do them), you can’t be allowed to feel guilty? So, maybe it’s a workout, and drink your eight glasses of water, and eat five small healthy meals, spend some quality time with the people that you love, and get the work done that you said you would get done, right? And then, if you do just those five things every day, you can’t let yourself get burdened down! So, whatever the strategies are that work for you, figuring out how to accept yourself can make you that brighter person that Queen Latifah is telling us about here.

Kay:

If working out every day, giving into your five prepped small meals, spending a ton of time with your family, doing your reading and journaling feels like all too much change at once, keeping your promises to yourself can happen one teeny tiny step at a time, too! Like, you can just promise to put on running shoes and do a walk down to the mailbox, every day for a week. That’s such a small promise, there’s no way you can’t keep that to yourself, which will help you start building that trust, step by step!

Shi:

I love that! And, if you have no discipline in any of your areas, trying to implement a checklist like that might be setting yourself up for failure. So, by being able to keep those small promises and build the momentum over time, you can get to the place where you’ve really got a solid structure! And, if you were listening earlier this week, we talked about how building a structure around the fundamentals, can give you more room to be creative, and to be more expressive, and Queen Latifah is kind of telling us the same thing here, right? Because, if you accept yourself, if you build a structure around your fundamentals of your personality, and of your character…of who you say you are and what you do – everything gets brighter, which means you can see farther, and others can see you, and then they’re attracted to you, for you!

Kay:

I think this is like an emotional fundamental, right? Self-acceptance is kind of the base of it, because – if you don’t accept yourself – chances are other people aren’t very accepting of you either, because the universe will mirror whatever energy it is that you’re putting out to it. So, if you put out the energy of like, “Oh, I just don’t accept myself or nobody likes me”, or, they “always make fun of me” or, “people just don’t like me”, or, “I’m just not a people person”…if we hold these thoughts and emotions really near and dear to our hearts, when we go out, chances are people are going to react to us in a negative way.

Shi:

We can’t help but talk about the fact that Queen Latifah is black and a lot of black women have to deal with this fact that what gets reflected to them from society does not look like who they are. And so, imagine the challenge of accepting yourself – (and, if you are a black woman, or a black man, or a part of a minority group listening…you know this challenge about not seeing your own self reflected in all the major media outlets, and the major stories, and that major standards for beauty, and what is “normal”). And, we’ve seen a lot with the black people that we’ve been interviewing through our BOLD Conversations, actively build this acceptance for themselves. Because, otherwise, they get completely barreled over by the nonacceptance of others.

Kay:

Yes. And, as Queen Latifah reminds us, (Ms Dana Elaine Owens), says that, “From the time I really accepted myself, everything got brighter. People were attracted to me, for me.”

Shi:

All right…Obviously it’s an acceptance quest…so, today, we want you to think about something that you cannot change about yourself…and that, maybe in the past, you’ve had a hard time accepting. We’re not telling you, you have to go into full acceptance today, but we want you to practice feeling what acceptance looks like. And so, your quest today is to try and accept one quality about yourself…Are you ready?

Kay & Shi:

Let’s quest!