Kay:

Hey Questers and happy Friday. It’s already January 22nd. We can’t believe it! This is episode 275. We have such a fun quote for you today from Miss Coco Chanel. She says, “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”

Shi:

Of course, Coco Chanel was a French fashion designer and a businesswoman, clearly the namesake for the Chanel brand and just a dominant female figure in our history here in America and really around the world. Chanel products and Coco Chanel are always known for this almost sassy business advice and personality. So, this is right in alignment with that, but once we take away that sass, that flippant part of it there’s actually some pretty good advice here.

Kay:

One of the things that I love about Coco Chanel and the time that she was really coming of age and into herself was in the twenties and in the early thirties when women weren’t really listened to. Women were meant to be in their tight corsets and sit in the corner and so Coco telling us here to think for yourself, aloud. From a woman who literally changed women’s comfort for life, because she said, there’s no sense in women having to be in pain for men, let’s get a little more sporty with our style and start to slowly change the way that women dress. I mean, this is a time when it was uncomfortable for someone to speak up aloud and she did it anyway, and she changed the world.

Shi:

So, it’s not only a reflection of her time but it is timeless advice. To be able to think for yourself and then share that, speak it out with your voice is the action piece that we know is a critical component in achieving anything that you want to achieve including getting out of bed. Action is the thing in between and so it’s courageous to think for yourself, to have your own ideas, to have dreams and aspirations. But that action, that speaking it, that saying it out loud, that being heard and setting boundaries is the part that moves it forward and makes it a reality.

Kay:

She doesn’t say the most courageous thing of all is to think for yourself. She doesn’t say the most courageous idea of all is to think for yourself. She says the most courageous act. So, the thing you do is to think for yourself out loud, to do it aloud to other people. Now, thinking of yourself as often for yourself can often be innovative or scary because when you’re thinking for yourself, it means that you’re likely thinking against the norm of the group of people that you hang out with regularly. That’s what thinking for yourself is and if you listened to yesterday’s podcast, you know that changing establishment, any kind of an idea that an establishment holds, even the establishment of a family is going to be very difficult. So, it does take courage to stand up for the things that you believe in, especially knowing that they’re likely going to go against the status quo of those things around you.

Shi:

Now, we’re surrounded by our social media in which the algorithms are designed to create an echo chamber around you of the kind of content that you’ve previously been engaged in. So, if you start thinking for your “self” and you start having ideas or questions that are outside your algorithmic orchestration around you, that can be very uncomfortable because all of the echo chambers pointed back at you, those megaphones aren’t reflecting that, and it can be extremely uncomfortable. You might get rejected or you might get challenged. So, whether it’s in the 1920s and you’re fighting for women’s rights, or you’re on social media and you’re trying to get out of a fake news cycle, the advice here is still the same and it’s about taking that action to identify what your boundaries are and to really be in the helm of your own ship and not let somebody else steer for you.

Kay:

Now, one of the toughest places to let this come forward is in person when you actually have an idea that is different than somebody else’s. Now many of us might take this advice and say, okay, well then what I’m going to do is go put my controversial opinion on my social media page. That is not what we’re here to tell you to do. What we’re telling you to do is stand up for yourself aloud, which means that when somebody else maybe presents an idea or a way of thinking, have the courage to say what it is that you need to say even if it’s a counter to what that person brought forward. We’ve got some tips for you guys when it comes to approaching something that might be difficult when you’re having to be courageous in the act of thinking for yourself out loud.

Shi:

So, a few tips for you first off, if you’ve got to say something tough write it down ahead of time and if you need to read it, that’s okay. Just tell the other person I need to read this just so that I make sure I say everything that I want to say. The second thing is practice, go into the mirror, and give yourself a practice. It gets less scary the more times you say the things that are courageous to say, and then the third thing is, is that when you start to feel those physical symptoms of fear show up in your body, push through. That is not a sign to stop. The little bit of sweating in your palms, the butterflies in your belly, that hot/cold feeling on your face, that doesn’t mean stop. It means to push forward and that you’re on the brink of a breakthrough. So, like Chanel tells us, “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”

Kay:

Alright. It is your Fri-yay quest today and we’ve got a Chanel, Speak Up Quest! Think for yourself, at least once, OUT LOUD this weekend, especially if you feel one of those fear responses happening in your body. That’s your cue, it’s time to speak up and if maybe your mouth gets you in trouble too often, maybe practice just a little graceful silence. Whatever it is, do it aloud and do it courageously. Are you ready?

Kay & Shi:

Let’s quest!