Kay:
Hello there, Mentorship Questers today is Monday, July 26th and this is episode 406. We have a quote from one BA woman today, the queen of BA-ry herself, Miss Jen Sincero.
Shi:
She says, “If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.” This is such a fun quote and as Kay insinuated, Jen is the author of a book called, “You are a BadBLEEP,” and you can guess what that word is there. It is a solid book, a fun read with laugh-out-loud moments and great little nuggets of wisdom like this one here.
Kay:
For context, we are all about a little bit of cussing from time to time, but we keep this podcast clean so you can listen to it in the car with your kids without a worry in this world. So, You Are a BA is indeed one of our jams in the personal growth and development world as is this quote, because Jen really gets to the heart of the matter when someone is about to change their life about what can happen when something is holding them back.
Shi:
You’re a longtime listener. You probably know we talk about excuses quite a bit because they’re a big reason why people don’t get things done. So, you’ve probably heard us mention that the hardest thing about excuses is that they’re valid most of the time, that there are good reasons for not getting things done. But the thing about good reasons is they allow you to justify not getting something done or something not happening and that can make you feel better in the rare situation where you didn’t have any control in this circumstance or time, but most of the time we do have control over it and so we’re just using it as a band-aid, as a justification, which is what she’s aiming at here. The excuse is there if you don’t do it, but if you do it, it’s because you found a way.
Kay:
Yes, and justifications can also go both ways. I was reflecting recently on a quote from our favorite musical Hamilton in which he says, “I wish there was a war so I could rise above my station.” I was laughing in that reflection, thinking that how often in our lives do we wish for an extreme circumstance so that we can have an incredible life change. Obviously, you wouldn’t wish anything bad, but don’t you just wish that Publisher’s Clearing House would come and knock on your front door with two and a half million dollars and all of a sudden, you’re living a different life.
Shi:
Yeah, I know I do. I have that fantasy and probably you do too at different times, I think it’s in human nature to kind of wonder what it would be like to just have everything you ever wanted. But what we know from experience is that in reality, 99.9% of those things have to be earned and worked for. What that means through the process of earning and working for it is that there’s a lot of hard stuff. There’s a lot of challenges. There’s a lot of adversity. There is an onslaught of continuous expectations and needs and meetings and different things that can come up. So, she’s telling us if you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way- period, end of the story. Not if you don’t have kids or if you have the money or if your parents treated you right. You’ll just find the way period- if you’re serious. If you’re like, I can’t find the way or I’ve tried and I failed, then we have to look at that serious piece of it. You want to change your life, you desire to change your life but if you’re serious about it, you’ll really find that way and keep going even when it’s super tough.
Kay:
If you have a desire to change your life, or you want to change your life, good on you.
Shi:
Yeah!
Kay:
Way to go. But it is just not quite enough. It’s not that.
Shi:
It’s a start.
Kay:
It’s a start but it’s not quite the whole enchilada. We need that determination, that level of, “I will do it until it’s done.” I will not give up nor will I quit no matter how things get going in order to succeed. So, you know, she tells us that you’ll find that way and look- if you’re not it’s okay. She doesn’t say, if you’re not, you’re a horrible person and you should go away forever. She said, “If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.” Even if it is a valid excuse, it is an excuse and that’s okay if you aren’t quite at that level of being serious about changing your life. But if you are, you need to understand that the excuses have to get sidelined. It’s just part of the deal that you make with success.
Shi:
I think excuses do get a bad rap. I think about in school when you had a doctor’s appointment, what was it? It was an excused absence, a justified absence and that’s the thing here we’re just talking about. You’ll find a reason. You’ll find a justification for not changing your life, but if you really, really want it, (aka: you’re serious about it) you’ll find that way. Despite all of those things that we call excuses. So, if you feel hung up on that word, because maybe you haven’t accomplished something or you do want change in your life, but you haven’t made it happen yet maybe think about it from that orientation of an excused absence, a justification. There are a million reasons not to. It’s finding that one reason to do it and then holding onto it for dear life.
Kay:
So, like Jen Sincero tells us, “If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.”
Shi:
Alright, it’s a “Be a BadBass” quest for you today. Today’s quest is: we want you to embrace your inner BA by choosing one unresourceful habit you want to change in your life, big or small, and seriously commit to sticking with it no matter what, whatever obstacle you might face today, be a BA and find a way through it. Are you ready? Chime in here with us now…
Kay & Shi:
Let’s quest!
