Kay:

Hey there, Questers! We have a great quote for you today, on June 11th. This is Episode 114, and we’ve got a little bit of classy, and a little bit of sassy, coming at you from Eleanor Roosevelt…

Shi:

Who says, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

Kay:

So, it went from classy to sassy in about two seconds!

Shi:

Well, first of all, we heard this quote a few weeks ago, after our Mother’s Day fiasco at our restaurant company. I was getting encouraged by a dear friend and longtime listener, Andrea Jacobsma, formerly Andrea Manha. And she texted me the quote, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.” And I was like, “Okay, that is a really good quote that we have to put on The Mentorship Quest!” And, it was just so apt for the place that we were in then, as well as the place I think many of us are in now...

Kay:

And then, when we looked up the quote, and saw that it was followed up by this, “You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t” – it was almost encouraging, because sometimes it can feel a little like we are attempting to be more proper than we feel on the inside. And so, I’m glad that Eleanor Roosevelt pulls back that curtain a little bit, and lets herself get in here to say this incredible teaching, in a very simple way to understand. Because truly, no matter what you do, somebody’s going to have an opinion that probably doesn’t match yours.

Shi:

Right? I mean, she says it in a classy way and the sassy way, which totally reminded us of our grandma on our dad’s side – Grandma Lila! Lila Carrington was her maiden name and then Lila Young, and finally Lila Mitchell. And she was an incredible staple in our life. And, she was very similar to Eleanor in the way she would say something really profound, and then have some kind of backhanded way to say it as well. And so, I think that may have been just part of this generation to have both of those sides. And, don’t we ALL have those sides? And, we all also live with the fact that there are different people on this planet, and that they are going to think differently than us. And, they’re going to criticize or judge some of the decisions we make, as well as the decisions we don’t make. And, that is ultimately what it comes down to…Your life is your life, and also your decision…

Kay:

So, if you’re holding back on being yourself – or maybe you’re holding back on starting the business – or doing the thing – or getting on the workouts – or restarting the workouts – or WHATEVER you’re holding back from right now…because you’re afraid of somebody else criticizing you…figure this: People are going to judge whether you DO it, or you don’t do it. If you don’t do the thing, you’ll have people on one side saying, “Well, you should have just started the workouts” or, “You should have just started saving the money”. And then, if you DO start saving the money, or you DO start working out, you’ll have people saying, “Well, that’s unnecessary” or, “You’re being too strict.”

Shi:

The truth is: you probably have an opinion on the current events happening right now when it comes to race relations, especially if you’re here in the United States. But, this is playing out on the global stage. We saw all 50 States holding protests. We have 18 countries protesting alongside the United States. This is happening on the global level. And, that means you have seen what is going on, and you likely have an opinion. Now, you might feel like you want to say something or speak up, but you’re nervous because you’re going to get criticized. Or, you DO speak up and say something, and you get criticized anyways. So really, this quote couldn’t be more apt for the time that we’re in.

Kay:

Well, I think that many of us won’t speak out, out of the fear of being criticized. And, what ends up happening is that your unique voice is not added into whatever is needed in the conversation. And, that need is for as many human beings to come forward and talk about how they are feeling, regardless of whether you agree with the majority opinion or not. Now, I’m not condoning hate or hate speech. But, what we are saying here is that everyone’s voices count at the table and the conversation, because that’s the only way that we come to a place of understanding, and get to a space where we can move forward as a society. And, that’s on a macro level, but this applies on the personal level as well – you’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t…

Shi:

And then, we also see this on the business level! You know, when the ability for restaurants to open up was released in Phase 2, or Phase 1.5, or whatever it was in our county, we had 36 hours to prepare before we could start opening our dining rooms as a restaurant. And this “Do open” versus “Don’t open” were kind of the two sides of the fence available. And, people were criticizing all of the decisions in between that! Which, you would think it’s an on/off switch, but there are all kinds of things that happen in between there. And, we did open as quickly as we could. And, we were criticized for opening, and we saw other businesses who did not open and were criticized for not opening. So it was one of those – Hey, you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. So, do what is right in your heart, because at least then when you are criticized – or you make a mistake – or you fall on your face – you can OWN it, because your heart’s behind it. And, that’s what makes this easier. If your heart’s not behind something, and you do it, and then you get criticized…that hurts.

Kay:

It sure does! And, Eleanor Roosevelt knew this best when she said, “You need to do what you feel in your heart to be right for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

Shi:

All right, that means it is quest time for your Thursday, June 11th! Put your hand on your heart and ask yourself out loud, “What is right for me today?” And then, sit with that question in your heart, and think and feel about what it is that your heart tells you. See what emerges, and listen to it! Follow your heart, because you’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t! So – Are you ready?

Kay & Shi:

Let’s quest!