Kay:
Hey, hey there Questers! Today’s June 16th, which means it is one month from my birthday! (Kay here)! And, it is also Episode 117! We’ve got a Michelle Obama quote for you today, and, she says, “Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts…good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with.”
Shi:
We are HUGE, super fans of Michelle Obama. She is just so eloquent, well-spoken, patient, inspirational and just such a truly amazing woman that we both equally look up to. And, we benefit from her mentorship from afar in so many ways. And, I think this quote is such a great example of the knowledge and value that Michelle brings, which is really dimensional, because it’s not just the ol’ “you can do it” disguised in pretty words. This is a really specific quote about relationships and about trusting your gut.
Kay:
I think many of us have heard the principle that states that you are the five people that you hang around the most. And, the most successful people in the world don’t just echo this sentiment, they shout it from their metaphorical megaphones! And, Michelle Obama is no exception to this. And so, she tells us not to bring people into your life who weigh you down, because good relationships feel good. And, how often have we heard that everyone has THAT friend, (and maybe your that friend)…but everyone has that friend. You know, the friend that’s always saying, “We’re just so bad for each other, but I just love him SO much” or, “It just hurts me so much, but we’re such good friends” or, “They just really bring me down, but we’ve been colleagues for years.” And, really, we end up making these excuses for people who aren’t really that good for us…
Shi:
Right? Or, how about, “We’ve been friends since elementary school, but, you know, he’s just really dramatic and likes to start stuff and stir the pot.” But, the thing is – we have a choice. And, this is exactly what Michelle is talking about here. And, I like her intentional usage in that very beginning where she says, “do not bring people in your life”, because that’s indicative of the fact that it IS a choice! And, it might not have been your choice when they came into your life (if we’re talking about a toxic parent or other family relationship), but it is your choice NOW, and you can do something about it if it doesn’t feel right. And, if the relationship is hurting you and it’s painful for you, just like she says, that’s not just a person you don’t want to marry, it’s a person you should be careful about being friends with as well. So, we’re really talking about every kind of relationship. As Tony Robbins likes to say, “If you want to get out of your relationship, change you, first. And then, if you’re still not happy, then change the relationship.” And so, taking that personal accountability is certainly one side of the coin, but there is a point when we know that the person we’re thinking about right now is toxic and doesn’t belong in our inner circle…
Kay:
Yep. If we were to ask you right now: Who’s one person that doesn’t belong in your inner circle?…Who do you think of?…GO!
Kay & Shi:
You know you got somebody!
Kay:
Now, when this question has been asked of us in the past, it’s been particularly in a business sense, but every time we’ve really considered it, we’ve been able to find somebody in our lives that could – not use the chopping block necessarily – but could use a little bit of distance. And, this is in order for you to protect your own personal momentum and your own emotional state, because that’s really important. And, as Michelle Obama says here, “It’s not just about the people that you marry.” And, she says, “It’s with the friends that you choose.” But, I’d also like to expand that into the workplaces that you choose as well, and all the people you decide to surround yourself, in your job and in your passions.
Shi:
What I certainly know from studying sociology and psychology is that your environment influences you a LOT. It has a huge, major impact on your outcomes, on your personality, on your motivation, and all kinds of different aspects that effect how your life unfolds. And so, we have to stand guard at that inner circle and really protect who it is that we’re allowing to influence us, because that environment truly does have an immeasurable impact on us.
Kay:
Yep! So, Michelle Obama says, “Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with.”
Shi:
And, that brings us to today’s quest: Who do you choose to surround yourself with? Is there someone right now who isn’t serving you, that you could use a little distance from today? Your quest is to evaluate your instincts, trust your instincts, and then take action on those instincts! It’s not wrong to give yourself some space. So, today, your quest is to evaluate who you’re surrounding yourself with and make adjustments if needed. Are you ready?
Kay & Shi:
Let’s quest!
