…Let’s direct our attention to an influence genie – open up your eyes for Dr. Robert Cialdini! Today’s quote comes from Cialdini’s book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, and the teachings within this book are beyond impactful! But, let’s focus on digging into today’s nugget of wisdom shall we?
This quote makes intrinsic sense but, also – how many times do we order our kids to go do a thing without providing reason? We will sure as heck be raising our hands on that one! And, of course, the first thing they respond with is…“Why?” (could have guessed that one huh?!) While this could annoy the parents in us, Cialdini would be giggling with delight. WHY? Because humans respond better, when asked to do something, if we begin by providing the why!
Cialdini’s principle applies to leading and influencing those around us, but (what we may love even more is) it also applies to how we treat ourselves. Think about it: the most difficult person we have to lead in our lives is ourselves, and when we look at this from a self-leadership perspective – if you don’t know WHY you’re doing something – it’s really easy to get disconnected with the thing you are doing, and also get disgruntled along the way.
We have to understand that this quote is coming at the summary of DECADES of research, and thousands of papers, and hundreds of participants (AKA it’s scientific, yo!) WHICH MEANS: YOU like to have reasons for what you’re doing too! And, giving yourself your reasons can make doing the things so much more enjoyable and fulfilling!
Feel like this is obvious? Maybe to some! But, so many of us fail to include the context or reason when we speak (taking for granted that people will trust or understand our intentions)…and this is where we run into just a teensy bit of trouble. The problem is: we become comfortable with judging ourselves based on our intentions, but others by their actions. And hey – we get it – we’re not mind readers (yet) either, but how can we expect others to understand our thoughts if we can’t read theirs?!
Communicating our WHY to others allows them to bridge the gap between the actions that they see, and the intentions that live inside your head. So, ultimately, giving the reason when you request things from people can really help you create common ground, AND get more of the things you want in your life!
Want a reason to keep hangin’ out with us? AWWW, shucks – you’re making us blush! Listen to today’s episode with us right here!