Kay:

Hey there Questers, and welcome to Episode 96! Today we have a quote for you from Bobby McFerrin. And, he was a bit of a one hit wonder, but you might remember this little lyric of his where he says, “In every life we have some trouble. But, when you worry, you make it double.”

Shi:

In case you don’t recognize where that lyric came from, it is from the super-duper famous song – “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!”

Kay & Shi:

(*Singing*) Don’t worry! (Doo, doo, doo, DOO, doo) About a thing (Doo, doo, doo, DOO, doo)…cause every little thing…is gonna be alright!

Shi:

And, now it’s going to be stuck in your head all day…You’re welcome! And, you’re welcome for this quote too, because this is a really insightful one. And, I always love when the insightful quotes come from a lyric and a song, because it’s truly an artist expressing themselves and flowing a message out for an audience. And, you know, Bobby McFerrin is certainly an artist at heart.

Kay:

He truly is! And, after doing the research for this episode, I would be lying if I said that I did not totally rabbit hole Bobby McFerrin, and then went on to learn way more about him than I think anybody needed to know…But, what was really interesting is that he has this one super, mega hit, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” – and then he dedicated the rest of his career to creating inspirational soul music that is meant to bring people together, through sound! He’ll even opt to do songs that don’t include words, because his goal is really to bring people together through music, and to use it as kind of a unifying factor…regardless of language!

Shi:

And we’ve all felt that way at one point or another. You hear a song, you get a groove, and that’s that language of the soul. And, you know, music is the language of the soul and you can feel it when it moves you in that special way. But, I really like that he starts off the quote with just recognizing that, like, LIFE SUCKS sometimes!

Kay:

Yeah, exactly! Like…Hey! Do you have troubles? Well good, cause you’re human 😉

Shi:

You know, Tony Robbins tells us not to wish we didn’t have problems, but instead to wish we had better problems!…Because, if you think you don’t have problems…you’re dead.

Kay & Shi:

(*Laughter*)

Kay:

Right? I think that, our mentor, Paul Martinelli, says, “Want to know if somebody has problems?…Well, can they fog up a mirror?”

Shi:

LOL, right! The BIGGEST problem is really just that we all think we shouldn’t have them, but once we get past that, (as we do with this lyric here), and realize that in EVERY life we have some trouble, it becomes something we learn how to live with. But, the next part of this quote – “when you worry you make it double” – really forces us to question: What IS worry really like? And, how does it double our trouble?

Kay:

Well, I think what’s being stated here is that one of the base issues that plagues humans is not necessarily the incessant worrying itself, but the insistence on not letting worrying GO. Because, many of us think that worrying is productive, or feel like we’re doing a good thing by thinking about all of the things that could go wrong! And, we tell ourselves, “Well that’s good, because now I’m preparing myself so that if one of these things were to actually happen, at least I’ve worried myself enough to expect it, and know it may happen to me.”

Shi:

Well, the sneakiest of enemies are the ones that give you some benefit along with it. And so, there certainly is use for identifying the traps you want to avoid – or tricks that are out there – or circumstances that might turn dire without some preparation ahead of time. But, when it gets past the point of identifying factors that could be obstacles needing addressing, and moves over into a state of anxiety or anxiousness, that then prevent you from taking action, or enjoying your present moment….NOW we’re really talking about that emotion of worry that is detrimental to our lives, our mindsets, our families, our relationships, our discipline, our outcomes, our EVERYTHING!

Kay:

Now, we personally inherited worry (and I say “we” – as in Shila and I) from our dear, sweet Grandmother Lila.

Shi:

I’m actually named after her! Shila is a variation of Lila. AKA: Mom and Dad just wanted to make it a little more modern and so – there we go!

Kay:

Yes, indeed! So, Grandma Lila was famous for her worrying and she passed it along to our dad, and he still worries pretty incessantly. And then, he passed it on to US. And, what we’ve been able to identify is, (because we’re not just here to tell you all about it…These are things we’ve actually lived through as well!) is that there’s a big difference between constructively thinking, and ruminating over things that may or may not happen.

Shi:

Well, I think that was one gift that dad really demonstrated for us growing up. And, hopefully for most kids, you’re a slightly better version of your parents and you hope that for your kids as well! So, to sort of see this “worry” transform and take on different meanings as it was passed along the generations within our family, is pretty powerful. And so, we see our grandma with this unfettered worry, that could sometimes come across a little judgy, but was ALWAYS from a place of care and love! And then, to see how our dad inherited that, but also took it and made it into what we like to say, “coaches coaching.” Because, our dad is just the ultimate coach. He wants SO badly for things to go well, that he will advocate for what he believes is the right path, with vigor and with passion! And we both inherited that as well. So, to take that worry and refine it into, “Look, here’s the gift and the burden of something that could be identified as detrimental anxiety (if we sharpen that side of the sword), but also (if we sharpen the OTHER side) something that could be seen as proactive, necessary, and almost an accelerant to our lives…IF we sharpen that side of it.” And, that’s really what we hope to do!

Kay:

Exactly! Because, as Bobby says, “In every life we have some trouble. But, when you worry you make it double.” SO – your quest today is this: Think of one thing today that your worry is NOT going to help. And, then…let it GO! Remember, there’s nothing that you’re worry can do right now to help you. So – examine it, and then let it go 🙂

Shi:

Don’t worry about a thing, and happy questing!